I had nothing to offer anybody except my own confusion. ~Jack Kerouac

Latley, just for the lack of better things to do, ive been thinking a lot about life in general. like how much life can suck but at the same time its like it can be real cool. More and more ive had to realize how old i am, and how i am such a grown up now that things arent as cool as they used to be. like it used to be cool to stay up all night and now i cant. And we used to have time to come up with strange ideas and have fancy dress parties or go camping all the time but now its like everyone works so much to afford hobby lobby sprees that there is like no time just to relax and hang out and that is why going up north was so cool. cuz we were there for like 3 or 4 days and i didnt have to work and there was just no worrying about being anywhere or doing anything. and that can be the greatest thing in the world. like even getting 1 day off in a week is real exciting to me. i put in my 2 weeks notice at marys, for the last and final time. Which will be real good because ive been getting like at least 35 hours a week at dicks, closer to 40. so i dont kneed a 2nd job, plus i am babysitting now again. but to get back to where ive started, ive been thinking about how differently things would be in life if certain things didnt happen. because the way that i look at life is that not everything has to be bad. like you can take the worst thing that has ever happened to you and you can see how its changed you and how youve grown from it. And i think that in the last year or two, ive changed alot for many different reasons. And i think that as a person, I am much better off now than i was then. Maybe ive watched too many lifetime movies in my high school years. Heres the sappy part - I think my friends are the coolest people. Honestly. Like the bunch of us that still hang out all the time and stuff, i think it is so cool that we are all still friends. and i think they are some of the craziest people i know. I guess the moral of the story is that i am getting old and sappy but i really love my friends and i dont know what i would do if they were all in a car and drove off a bridge into the fox river. I THINK YOUR COOL. dont die.