I had nothing to offer anybody except my own confusion. ~Jack Kerouac

by khristin ann Monday, June 26, 2006 at 11:52 PM

come on baby light my fire

I am at the orphanage, lying in my bed, USING THE INTERNET!!! It is great. I actually have to go move my car out of the driveway before 730 am. Our jackass landlord just informed me (by way of a note taped to the door) that our driveway is being fixed early tomorrow. One of the neighbors is parked on the front lawn (which I found odd when I pulled in the driveway, but it makes sense now), I am going to have to go around the block and park either on scott or lincoln. It's cold and late and I'm lazy, so I am putting off the inevitable.

We have the internet again.

I went out drinking just about everyday last week. Tonight is the first night I am at home. It feels like I should be out, in any city from Dale to Oshkosh, with a beer in my hand. As a game, I tried many new drinks this weekend. If you ever want something different, try Absolute Vanilla and cranberry juice. Very tasty. As we all know, I am not one to clean off my bed before I crawl in it, especcially after a night (or whole week) of binge drinking. I woke up this morning, laying on a piece of wire (surprisingly, it is not too mangled and is still usable), a metal ruler with sharp edges, a ring mandrel, two pliers and a wire cutter, and an odd assortment of metal files. Let me point out that these are all sharp and/or dangerous objects. We all know what happens when Khristin is around sharp objects. I am shocked that I woke up with both my eyes and all my fingers. I am on a ring making binge for Art in the Park. I have made some sweet ass rings. Now that the internet has arrived at the orphanage, I could buy more wire right from my bed. I realized this morning how often I DONT have to leave my bed. Maybe I am just becoming more lazy (if that is possible) or maybe it is a result of having a bed in the living room, but I don't ever have to leave my bed. I eat, sleep, watch movies, read, make jewelry, dance/jump, and now with the invention of the internet and the laptop, I really never have to get out from under the covers.

I need to do laundry but I am on a shortage of quarters. Jenny was finishing up a load of laundry late one night last week, and was already in bed when Chris, Parker, and I made it to the orphanage at bar close. The three of us starting pulling Jenny's clothes from the dryer to bring up stairs, when a thong (or, as Sheilah would say, individual butt cheek separaters) fell out. In my half-drunken state I graciously offered to be the one to touch Jenny's panties; I picked them up and dropped them quite far from the basket. The same little thong kept making its way out of the basket, it even fell onto the stairs when one of the boys was carrying the basket. I have never touched Jenny's underwear so many times in my life.

I'm really bored. Jenny hasn't been home in days. I'm lonely for my woman. I was out drinking in Dale the other night (yes, I have been to both bars in Dale) when my camera wouldn't work. I was upset. I would have taken some nice pictures of my mom doing shots with my cousins and me, of our drunkass dancing (although, my cousin, my mom and I got up on a trailer bed in the back of my aunt and uncle's shop and did a dance for the security camera. They now have on film my cousin attempting to pour beer in my mouth, completely missing, and then me turning to my mom and wiping myself off all over her), of all the friends my mom made in Dale, and all the guys she tried to pick up for us, and all the time we spent standing (not parking, mind you) on the sidewalk between the two bars with drinks in our hands. My entire family may be strange and a bit dysfunctional, but they are good for one thing - an exciting night of getting drunk.

Maybe I'll just park my car on the neighbor's front lawn. Some days I am the epitome of lazy.

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