I had nothing to offer anybody except my own confusion. ~Jack Kerouac

Juliane called me this week to see if I was still alive. That is when I realized I haven't talked to any of my friends in like 2 or 3 weeks. Maybe it is time for me to rejoin society. My math skills failed me, I was wrong. I work 17 hours both Friday and Saturday next week. I can't add numbers (as opposed to adding other things?). That is why I am an English major and not a math major. Seventeen hours. That's a lot. Welcome to the world of retail. I need a new job(s). And a nice piece of pie. A whole dinner at Mary's would be nice. Right now I am eating canned pineapple. I was going to cut my hair tonight but I am feeling lazy and homework is more important than trying to fix my uneven hair chunk problem. After work tonight I layed in my bed for an hour and stared at the wall. I love that time of day where it is starting to get dark out but really isn't dark yet. It makes my tapestry over my windows glow blue. Doing absolutely nothing was more satisfying than a nap would have been. It was the greatest thing I have done all day. Unless you count watching the new Harry Potter movie last night, because we left the theater at 2 am. So it technically counts for today. Technically. Oh, it was glorious. Two days of class this week, then freedom for five. Then back to the same old schedule, class, work, work, work, work, study, work, sleep....over and over. and over. I think there is part of a pork sandwich in my car but I can't find it. Not that I would eat it if I could. Mmmm I love pork. I really don't eat all that much meat, just turkey lunch meat and pork mostly. The pork is usually taken from my mom's fridge. Thats where I get most my food, I am a kleptomaniac. My mom made me and Jenny dinner last night. Pork burgers, actually. It was a candlelight dinner, complete with dessert, all compliments of my mom. A perfect date. Too bad that Wyatt Fisher guy is in the picture; he's ruining my chances. I tried to explain to a new guy at work (thats what I call them all now, "Hey new guy---") how I date all my friend's boyfriends. It is a benefit of being single. He didn't seem to understand the concept. I think he thinks I am a whore, but I didn't mean it like that. Sheila fell on top of me while walking home from the bars on Friday night and my knee is a little swollen and bruised. But it was pretty funny. Drinking with my friends usually is a good time.

I just got done with another 11 hour workday. 130pm to 1230 am makes for a long day. Nicotine has never tasted as good as when I walked out the door tonight. I am not saying I endorse smoking, but a girl can't help herself once in a while. Especially when that girl is me. You would think I would have learned after the whole sleeve/hole incident last week.

At Curves they are having a winter/pre-christmas craft sale. I am thinking about talking to Shelly about getting some of my jewelry in there. When I worked out today I went around three times. I wasn't aware I would get more of a workout at Dick's Sporting Goods. It's not fun to vacum an entire (ok, well half) store. I have a 10 hour shift thursday, you can just shoot me now and get it over with.

I am dressed monochromatic in white, from my hat to my jacket to my pants to my socks. I am not sure if the Fab Five would hate me or love me right now. I have stiches in my mouth. I made Jenny look at them because they are falling out too quickly. My cheeks are still a little swollen. I feel like a chipmunk, only I am not a rabid animal. I might be allergic to angora, because my new hat makes my forehead itch. I am not too down with the fact that it is made out of rabbit hair. But it was just so pretty I had to buy it. Yes, I am compulsive when I shop.

I have a paper I should be writing and a story I need to start; instead I am sucked in to the world of blogging. Well, that and my backpack is on the other side of the room. On the day after Thanksgiving (known as Black Friday in the retail world) I work 14 hours between the two jobs. And Saturday again too. All these hours are going to pay for my $2000 car debt, my surgery last week, my physical therapy, my massive credit card debt, all the alcohol I can drink, my ticket to the new Harry Potter movie, etc. etc. It's snowing. Whenever I think of snow I think of the Raffi Christmas cd my mom and dad have. Max and Val loved that cd and made me bring it everytime I was there in the winter. I always get Raffi songs stuck in my head at Christmas time. I love pudding. In the last week, I have had two different people comment to me about my bad karma and offer to buy me a good luck charm. Only bad things happen to me, one right after another. I am out of dental floss.

If Amy Grant came to the big city of OshVegas, I don't know what my three wishes would be. One girl got a pony. Do you know what word I have been over using? "Ahhhhh......" It just makes for a nice intro into a dramatic sentence. And I tend to be overly dramatic out of sheer boredom and a strange sense of humor. If I ever get arrested, I am going to plead insanity. I dont think it can be argued against. Seriously. It's snowing. Peace out.

Its kind of funny how if a certain roommate of mine was speaking to me, she could have told me about the pants she was looking for. How was I supposed to know if she didn't ask?

I hate drama. I wish I could change things but I can't. I wish I didn't feel the need to brush my teeth three times a day, but I can't change that either. I wish my elbows didn't look funny and my ears weren't crooked. I wish my mom would stop trying to set me up with every guy she knows. I wish I didn't have a dream the other night where I murdered a little girl and felt no remorse.