I had nothing to offer anybody except my own confusion. ~Jack Kerouac

Wedding Crashers was the funniest movie I have seen in a long time. So funny, in fact, that Jenny undid her pants in the theater so she wasted less time in the bathroom. Jager is not my friend. It left a slight buzzing noise in my left ear all day Saturday. Well I am not completely sure if it was the jager, but I am blaming it on that. It is quite possible. I keep a stick of bamboo in my bedroom as a weapon. Mostly it is used against Jenny, but it could be used against any other intruders. Today these two really strange guys were returning a tree stand and one of their fly's was unzipped. I didn't have the heart to tell him.

These pictures are of Katie and me playing in the 'Big Falls'. It was quite the adventure.

I took this picture of myself one night. It was when we were first moving in and I was pretty bored. And well....nevermind. Today at work I peeled off my fake nail. It was both gross and painful. Some days I am real productive at work. I bought some silver glitter wire on ebay and it is rather tacky. Honestly. Somebody baked cookies at our house today. I love them, who ever did it.

Here is an advertisement for Katie P's bday---- Anyone who wants to go out in good old a-town next friday (the 26th) for Katie's bday, feel free to come. I have taken the liberty to invite everyone I know, since most of her friends are either little kids or out of town. I promise it will be a good time. call me.

Our house makes the creepiest noises. No likey. I also don't like how there is such a big window in our bathroom that faces into the neighbor's house. I feel as if my peeing echos out the window and the neighbors can hear it amplified. My fingers on my left hand really have not been working the last couple days. All I can say is, owwweeeeee.

I was at Windows of Light the other day when I saw the creepiest things i have ever seen. They had these little metal fairy figures with butterfly wings. The wings were actual wings from actual butterflies that are raised on a butterfly farm in New Zealand. No lie. They were CREEPY. I wanted to cry and throw up at the same time.

I think I am loosing my mind. Yesterday I lost my keys, but I found out today that they were on the stove the whole time. I lost my cell phone for 6 hours until I found it sitting on my broken dresser drawer that doubles as a table, which means it was also sitting right in the open. I honestly have not been able to find my phone charger for days. I don't know what to do with my fake nail. When I got home from work before I thought I had a giant bruise on my arm. It's on my forearm and it streches into my skin graft. I was wondering why it didn't hurt. Then i realized it is just a large spot of photo lab chemicals.

do you know what is in beer surprise? me neither. but it tasted pretty good. there is nothing like drinking alcohol straight out of a cooler at a pirate party that is only 4 houses away. it is garbage night, and let me tell you how heavy our paper recycling is. VERY HEAVY. it is not easy to carry with one hand. so difficult, in fact, that i just fell right over.

The guy that was offended by ace of base last weekend apologized. he said that if i brought my ace of base cd to the next party he would play it. sweet, i know. except i told him i would bring something a little more partyish than ace of base. i just dont know what. good thing i have some time to plan it out.

Today at work I cut my hand open pretty bad with a screwdriver. oops. I have a list for tomorrow. Watch out. I am determined to get it done. Tonight Sheila and I went to a cookout, even though we didn't know anyone there. We played some volleyball, and I brought home a whole beach in my pants. There was even sand in my underwear. I fall down a lot. We went out drinking Friday night, and the highlight of the night (in my opinion) was when Sheila called a certain guy a jackass in my honor. It was pretty sweet. That's friendship right there. what I thought was funny about it was when Sheila started walking over there, all the guys we were with followed her. Like they were threatening. I got the sublime tribute cd. I really like it. surprised? I accidentally cut one of my toenails almost off and it hurts. I have to be more careful with sharp objects. Good thing I destroy things with a screwdriver for a living. I am going to the hardware store tomorrow, and to Hobby Lobby, but I have to keep it under control.

We were watching this show before where there was a woman trying on wigs who shaved her head because she doesn't like having hair, and so she said----"I could see myself using a wig in the winter, to keep my head warm." ummm, ok. could you imagine somebody walking into a room, taking off their winter jacket, then removing their wig and placing it in their pocket?

Here is the sad truth to my life...the other day I realized how tired and out of it I have been. I counted; I take 13 pills a day. THIRTEEN. That's more than the fingers I have. Thats like all my fingers, plus my two toe-thumbs (yes, it is the handfoot....) and then another toe. That is a lot, my friend. Because I have been such a spaz lately, I cannot remember what pills I have taken today and how many and which ones I haven't. I went to walmart after work and bought one of those pill holders for the week. Not only is it a pill holder, but it is magnetic. I might just have to hang it on the fridge. I officially feel like I am 80. I just need to wear my robe around the house with some curlers in my hair and call the neighborhood kids 'bitches'. You can just call me Grandma from now on. Lucas on days calls Alice 'Gram'. What a funny guy.

I don't usually take advice from my brother. He just told me to febreeze a book that I have that smells bad. You can't febreeze paper. Once, he wrote a letter to the mayor, suggesting that the mayor had a bake sale to raise money for the college ave bridge construction. When I was editing his paper, I made him take that out. He wasn't happy about that.

All the skin is falling off my hands. It is completely repulsive. I am either having an allergic reaction to vinegar or it is from my new prescription. I am thinking it is the vinegar that did me in. That is the last time I stick my hands in a bucket of vinegar....