I had nothing to offer anybody except my own confusion. ~Jack Kerouac

things you always wanted to know (but didn't know you wanted to know) and are glad Kristin is here to tell you:

1. Dead mice in a mouse trap are less intimidating than live mice (but I still kept my distance)
2. Tolstoy was a vegitarian
3. When you go into labor, your water really can break like in Coneheads (ok not that dramatic, but I was talking to a girl today who lost 30 pounds of water weight after having her baby. She said if she had been in public when her water broke it would have been very embarrassing).
4. I will NEVER EVER EVER be a literary critic. But, on the off chance that I do stumble down that career path, I will discuss such random, complicated bullshit that is ridiculously hard to decipher.
5. the prefix 'septem' means seven. So why is September the ninth month? Well, I wondered the same thing. It is because on the early Roman calendar, September actually was the seventh month.
6. I like cake
7. The guy sitting next to me in the computer lab has been playing games the whole time I have been in here tonight. I've already been here for a couple hours. I'm here for homework, not games (or, in Gretchen Wilson's case, the party). I hope he's not reading this over my shoulder. How embarrassing.
8. If your pants are a couple sizes too big, be careful while kneeling down at work. You just might rip a hole in the crotch. Not saying that I learned from experience or anything. Good thing I have a coupon to Maurices so I can get a new pair of khaki's...

On a side note, I have a sharp pain in my lower back that occassionally causes an extreme look of pain on my face. I bet I look like my homework is painful or that I am constipated. I am wearing this super sweet workout shirt I bought. It's slippery. I took a 2 1/2 hour nap yesterday and woke up with a hole in my sock. What do I do in my sleep?

things that fascinate me:

1. fire.
2. the ability to juggle. it keeps me entertained for quite awhile.
3. the show 'golden girls'. it is hilarious, yet it is not obscene or perverted in the way that the rest of television is (and i am not saying that the rest of television does not have comedic value)
4. shiny objects, specifically diamonds. someday i am going to own one. my ring size is 5 1/2.
5. the united states postal service. it seems that in an age of technology, the postal service is primitive and outdated. yet they deliver packages to the right address and on time.
6. the fact that jenny has NEVER been able to adequately cook a frozen pizza
7. escalators. i was one of those kids that begged to go to the avenue mall to ride the escalators.
8. the merchandise people try to return to dick's sporting goods. it's entertaining.
9. vaseline, i don't mean in a sexual way. have you ever tried to wash vaseline off?

Another dream (not as gory).....Sheila and I drove very far to get to a random Chinese restaurant inside some random mall. She ordered potato pancakes. It reminded me of how Leah always wrote 'potato' as 'potatoe' because she liked it better. Crazy, crazy Leah. I feel like lately more people have been leaving my life rather than entering it. it's kinda sad.

Tonight at work I got to use the phrase, "Kiss my black ass". This is half true. Half my ass is black and purple, due to an incident I had with the staircase. Some days I feel like a battered child that is trying to hide the truth from his friends and teacher. In the last two weeks, I scraped my knee walking drunk, I reopened the nasty wound after slipping on some ice, I walked into a register which left me with a nasty bruise, and, to top it off, I fell down the stairs (again). Part of the reason they keep me employeed at Dick's Sporting Goods is because I always have a story to tell, that usually ends up involving me showcasing a cut, bruise, or scar. Yes, they wanted to see my ass. No, I kept it in my pants because if the LP saw that on the camera, goodbye job. I did show off my ass to parts of my family on saturday though. It is really bad, and it is going to stay bruised for a long time. I have an incredibly slow healing rate.

I have been home from work for 45 minutes, and I haven't been wearing any pants. I can't find them. I think they are downstairs, but its warm in my room and cold everywhere else. I don't want to open my door because, to quote Jenny, "I've been saving this warm air all day".

I want to go somewhere. I want to get out of here for awhile. I'm bored. I work too much, I'm a full time student, and I have a hobby that takes up what little free time I have (in a good way, because I enjoy it) and yet I'm bored. If anyone wants to go on vacation, I made $50 today selling jewelry. Thats a down payment.

There is left over Toppers in our fridge calling my name, silent H and all....

I was late for work today due to the confusion of when I woke up. I spent most of my night in a half-awake state, gasping for air and trying to scream out. It was one of those kind of dreams. The dream didn't involve me, but I was there, in the bathroom. I just watched the gruesome details of person after person being tortured, then vomiting into a urinal until their face turned a dark shade of orange and they collapsed into death. It was a long, dark hallway of urinals. I was on my hands and knees, trying to escape; I couldn't get away. I have no explanation as to how or why I had this dream. My drugs are supposed to prohibit dreams of the sort (and seizures....but I don't have those anyway). All day, all I have pictured is the swollen orange faces and the big empty eyes. Disgusting, I know.

When Sheila and I got to my car late Friday night, it was one of those moments we were glad to have a camera. It was quite a night, let me tell you. I keep suddenly loosing feeling in my hands and feet. It's probably not a good thing and it is rather painful. I've been reading for HOURS and I just want to scratch my eyes out. Don't get me wrong, I am an English major, reading is my forte, BUT....there is too much. It's this damn literary criticism class that is already killing me. Plus I have my total lame ass gender in the American West class, Victorian poetry and prose (both of which come with massive amounts of reading) and my last soc class EVER, sociology of religion. My dad got a job today, so he bought me some beers in Little Chute after I went to the dentist. I enjoy going to the dentist, but that has to do with the fact that is more of a social hour, since my hygentist is actually a friend. I got to hear a lot of gossip and I have clean teeth. I work early tomorrow. And when I say early, I mean 7 or 730 (i cant remember). I've been wandering the house for hours with my belt undone. Good thing I am home alone. Or so I think....I made green koolaid last night. It was 2 am, I was thirsty, and I knew I would still be up for another hour or so trying to make sense of some literary theory. So I got out a pitcher and the best flava of koolaid ever - GREEN. I have 3 open boxes of kleenex in my room. I also have a couple of dead plants and a Jew. I don't think my Jew will ever die. No matter what, the Jew lives on. I was listening to the Bangles before and it put me in a crazy mood. I wore purple pants to work yesterday.