I had nothing to offer anybody except my own confusion. ~Jack Kerouac

by khristin ann Tuesday, November 30, 2004 at 1:37 AM

im not gonna cook it but ill order it from ZANZIBAR

Suddenly, all the text on my internet is enormous. Carrie let me have my own Jew, and it is looking pretty sweet. Before, me and Jenny were sitting in the living room, actually doing homework, when suddenly there was all this noise. It seemed as if the radiator was moving. Then, suddenly, the stereo was on and maroon five was playing. It was so very odd. Im supposed to write down everything i eat to see why i am sick, but i am kinda lazy. And I avoid excessive movement at all costs. Except me and Carrie went to curves today. and last night we visited with my hero, Richard Simmons. There is something about a man who can wear spandex. Jenny showed me the coolest bead catalog EVER. I was napping on the couch before and I had a dream that carrie was taping on the VCR and i changed the channel and her brother was mad. and we lived in a castle. I bought a new icepack tonight because Carrie decided that my ice pack wasn't cold enough. So I am going to bed now and when i wake up tomorrow, this ice pack better be magic and my back better stop hurting. I put joint tissue on my Christmas list and no one will buy it for me.

by khristin ann Saturday, November 27, 2004 at 11:51 PM

girl you know its, girl you know its.....true

Carrie is my hero. She cleaned my room. And organized my books from the library into two piles, one for learning and one for enjoyment. How she knows which is which, I am not sure. Although she did know that my book about the amish was for pleasure. I had a horrible day at work. Wanna hear about it? probably not. Let's just say that I am not looking forward to tomorrow. tomorrow I am in apparel so i am not up front anyways. There is always less drama in apparel. I lost my pills, and Carrie magically found them while cleaning my room, except she didn't know she found them. Weird, I know. I was chased by a turkey once when i was little, it was at this park in Neenah. Neenah, Neenah, where the hell is Neenah? Today Carrie ripped Jim's button off of his shirt. Now I am going to bed because I am exhausted from working so early in the morning that it was still dark. two days in a row.

by khristin ann Friday, November 26, 2004 at 6:30 PM

i was drunk the day my mom got out of prison

Nothing like waking up at 4 am to go to work. I am unbelievably tired, but I am off to do some Christmas shopping for my dear family and friends.

Here's what I learned today:
1. Do not wear corduroy pants to the library.
2. The people who sit in the middle of the intersection on a busy street during a green light are not just the idiots that drive on KK. It seems that a lot of people do that, and it is very hazardous and I do not advise it.
3. If you are going to go shopping at 530 am on black friday, your biggest enemies are the rude shoppers that are everywhere. And I thought Christmas was supposed to be a happy time. I was wrong.
4. Homosexuality is a form of birth control.
5. Plain cheese frozen pizza really isn't that good, but chocolate truffles are.
6. Jim likes me. As him and Carrie were leaving the house, Jim yells out, "I like you". It has to deal with Jenny and the cheeseburgers, but Jim didn't want me to forget that he likes me. Not in a dirty way.

The Hanson cd just ended and it is kinda lonely in the house. So i am off to do bigger and better things, then i am going to bed. I have worked more hours than I have slept this week. But I only work 9 hours tomorrow, and it better not snow tonight because I do not want to have to get up earlier than 5 am to drive to work. It really can become a dilemma if you do not work in the city you live in.

by khristin ann Wednesday, November 24, 2004 at 1:19 AM

i think were alone now

about 4 minutes ago, i very suddenly came to the realization of how bad i am doing in school this semseter. at the rate i am going, i am going to have to retake more than one class. this is the worst i have ever done in school, and i just cannot, CANNOT figure out why. i dont even want to go to school anymore, i am so unbeleively broke and i am in the process of taking out a loan to pay back a different loan. and i still need a loan for tuition, and a loan to pay for all my prescriptions and doctor visits. someday, when i finally make it through school and have a purpose for my major (this day really isnt ever going to come) i might decide that it was all worth it. but really, there is one reason i am a full time student: my life would be worse off if i was not covered on a decent insurance plan, and right now i could not get a job that would have that good of benefits.

so, to sum it up, i suck at school and i am so broke. i am like that guy in the commercial, who says, 'i'm in debt up to my eyeballs'. thats me. because reallly, i am never going to be able to pay back my loans and still survive. here's my life plans:

1. marry the govenor (this is only if i decide that i can handle being married, which at this point is very unlikely. but that is a different story)
2. be on a parade float, hopefully with a puppy
3. to memorize my drivers license number

who needs a college education with a future like that?

by khristin ann Sunday, November 21, 2004 at 11:58 PM

in the ghetto

It's about that time of year, when we can break out the Hanson christmas cd. If anyone is wondering where I will be at 530 am friday morning, I will already be punched in and ready to work. NO LIE. I think all my joints got together and decided that they did not want to work anymore. One of these days I am just going to fall over and have no ability to move. Like in Family Guy when Peter's wish is to have no bones and they wheeled him around in a wheel barrow. Kinda like that. My ankle brace got insulted tonight. Actually it is Carrie's ankle brace. Mine sucked, so I am using hers. The boot without the toe. Somehow I became homeless, in chemo, and from the ghetto.

I was making the trip from a-town to oshvegas tonight, when I noticed a peculiar thing. There is a truck company that is named 'Yellow". Heres the issue with that: The cab of the truck and the symbol are orange. Not real orangy, more of a mac and cheese orange. But to call that yellow is too much of a stretch. My first instinct was screaming 'orange'. So I cannot figure out why they call the company 'yellow' if they are going to paint all their trucks orange. I just dont understand some people and their strange ideas.

by khristin ann Wednesday, November 17, 2004 at 3:50 PM

Just the average day around here....

What did you do Saturday night? I took pictures of me, Jenny, and Wyatt sitting in the living room. We realized that our apartment severly lacks entertainment, so we took pictures of ourselves with my camera.

I don't know why they are so surprised. No one told me.

by khristin ann at 3:49 PM

Down here at the PAWN shop

I really do not know why Jenny is trying to lick me. I really don't.

I have decided that my new favorite word is autonomy, thanks to Jenny. it means:
1. Casting off of a limb for protection
2. Being responsible for the care of yourself

I used it in a sentence at work the other day, and everyone looked at me like I was nuts. But we had been talking about how it would be nice to remove your arms when it is really busy so that you can do more things at once.

My ankle is going on strike. I have never had so many body parts that randomly go numb until now. It's not cool at all. I couldn't sleep last night because my ankle hurt. Let me remind you how much medication I am on right now. I should not even be able to move in my sleep, I should be in a coma. But somehow I did not sleep last night.

I learned from the 10 o'clock news last night that 85% of people killed in Wisconsin knew their killer. So, guys, I am only going to ask this once. Please don't kill me. If you kill me, I would make you pay back my loan and no one would want to do that. I am putting a clause in my will right now:
Whoever kills me, has to pay back ALL of my loans, bills, etc. And wear spandex, every day. And get their nose replaced with a prosthesis nose.

Sound tempting? Anyone wanna kill me now? Didnt think so.

by khristin ann Tuesday, November 16, 2004 at 7:41 PM

mother should I run for prime minister....

KRISTIN PASSED A TEST!!! I bet your thinking 'no way....' but its the truth. I got a B, 86% to be exact. Now when I get my history test back this week and see that I failed it, it won't be such a shocker. This is like the highlight of my day. Pretty cool, huh. My laundry awaits me. Hasta luego.

by khristin ann Saturday, November 13, 2004 at 1:05 AM

its raining men

I hate weekends. My life is very uneventful during the week, but I just dread weekends because they are even worse. I'm so bored. And because I am not a normal person, when I am bored I cannot sleep. So on weekends I never go to bed until like 5 am when I am so insanely bored I just pass out from exhaustion. I actually want it to be monday so that I have something to do, go to school and fail all my classes. It's better than sitting at home and going crazy. Welcome to my life.

by khristin ann Thursday, November 11, 2004 at 11:57 PM

we cant live....at the store

I woke up the other morning, and my tounge hurt. So I looked in the mirror, and my tounge was all bloody and stuff. I must have bit my tounge REAL hard because there are two holes in it and its all sore and swollen and all that jazz. It really hurts. I am a threat to myself when I am unconcious. I am going to have to sleep in a helmet and oven mitts.

by khristin ann Tuesday, November 09, 2004 at 9:04 PM

no sleep til brooklyn

get ready (haha) for the longest blog ever. sorry for the torture, but since I quit studying I have nothing better to do then explain my uneventful life.

I was laying in Carrie's bed last night (since I stalk her around the house) and I was talking about Trading Spaces (Hilde did a room that actually wasnt that bad) and somehow, SOMEHOW, I said satan instead of satin. And I totally didnt realize it. Oops. I asked Jenny what it meant to her to be a lifelong learner, and she replied, "I like learning, I like life, and I like things that are long."

I trained this new guy at work, Creepy Craig. He is just so strange, he is very off in the head. I was seriously ready to kill him by 530 tonight. I am training him again ALL DAY thursday. And he seriously will not remember anything I told him today. I have introduced myself to this guy like 12 million times this week, when he was in filling out paper work and watching the movie and stuff, and today he came up to me and was like, 'hi, I'm Craig, whats your name?' And I was like, uh oh, this is going to be a fun day. I cannot even describe how weird this guy is. Very weird. And he just doesnt understand anything. I feel like I've spent a whole day explaining how things go down at Dick's for the pure enjoyment of my life. I do not think this guy has ever seen a television set before. He is just that weird. So weird, I cant even deal with it. It's the kind of weird that makes you lock your doors at night and makes you look over your shoulder when walking through a dark alley.

I got my car half fixed. I am never going to be able to afford the other half. Who needs an intermident steering shaft anyways? Not me, thats fo sho.

Last night, I got to wear my new workout pants. I went to go work out. Me and Carrie were going to work out at 630 am this morning, and it went kinda like this-- I looked at my alarm when it went off and thought to myself, 'No way Jose'. And I guess Carrie had the same thought because she actually got out of bed to come and tell me that she didnt want to get out of bed to work out. So we both went back to sleep. So much for motivation.

Today at work I got yelled at by this lady because in Kansas City, Missouri, the sales tax is 7% and here in good old Wisconsin it is 5%. We cannot refund sales tax differences. She threw a fit. So I opened my drawer and handed her the goddamn 40 cents. And then, roughly a half hour later, this guy kept being a smartass because me and Cait would not carry his gun back. We are told not to touch guns. There are guys who are stupid enough to leave ammo in the chamber when they bring in their guns, and for saftey purposes, we do not touch guns. AT ALL. I dont want to die at work. That would be the worst place to die. And so we were trying to get one of the Lodge guys to come pick up the gun (because they know how to check the chamber), and they were busy back there (big surprise, since its like hunting season and everything) and this guy kept saying, "Well here's an idea, why dont one of you carry the gun back for me?" and he said that like 5 times. We tried explaining that it is company policy that if you dont know a thing about firearms you do not touch them. And he kept on saying, "I got a great idea, why dont one of you walk me back?" and he looked at his watch every five seconds. It's like, sorry to be wasting your day but I am playing by the law. I dont need to be a convict.

by khristin ann Sunday, November 07, 2004 at 11:08 PM

i'm a sherman tank!!

It is Sunday, and did my roommates come home? Nope. They would rather stay one more night with their boys. I don't know why, I guess I am not cool enough or something. I bought new work out pants tonight. I figured I'd better stop working out naked. So now I have new pants. $30 for 2 pairs of pants. That's why I work in retail, for the discount. No, actually tonight, my manager and my supervisor were talking about how the place would fall apart if I ever stopped working there. The new people get confused when I am training them (I get the pleasure of training all the new guys, and with Christmas coming up I am seriously training every time I work) because I tell everyone what to do and where they should be and I carry a set of keys all the time, but I really have no power. I have no authority to sign off on returns, or any of the things like that. And that confuses people.

Carrie, just so you know, it is not politically correct to say 'secretary'. It's Administrative Assistant. So your goal in life is not to be a secretary with a lame pinky, but an AA.


The music I listen to, to quote Carrie, is 'angry men screaming'. I am thinking about building a robot that can do all my studying, and just beam it to my brain. Seriously. Then I would be passing 100% of my classes, not 67%. I had a real gory dream the other night. Like completly blood and guts and mass murdering and everything you dont want to dream about. But it was a very detailed dream. I dont really wanna get into the details of it right now because this blog would become a whole book. But it was completely detailed. And thats like the third dream I've had like that this week (One was about putting all of Jim's organs into the blender). So I am not real sure if I am losing my mind and going insane, or if I have a strange over reactive imagination. Either way I think I am losing it. Seriously. Give me 6 months and I will be living in the psych ward and Carrie will be bringing me dinner and I will puke all over my tray just for her. It will be a fun surprise. Nothing is more fun than a pile of vomit.

by khristin ann Friday, November 05, 2004 at 11:48 PM

cant touch this

I'm real bored. I was going to go get a movie from family video, but it is already after 1130. By the time I actually get up and put some shoes on and find my keys and stuff, I'll never get there on time. So I am working on making my way into the living room to watch some tv.

I cant go to school anymore. I have a 3 second attention span. Everytime I try to read a page in a textbook, I get nowhere. I finish one page, start looking around the room, then I look back at my book and try to figure out where I was. And I end up just starting over, and I realize I cannot remember anything I read. I am retaining absolutly no knowledge. I also cant stay awake for more than 10 minutes at a time when I am sitting still. This is why I am failing history and my other grades are only going downhill. I have failed at least one test in EVERY single one of my classes. Ive never done this bad before. I just dont get it.

I got a plaque at work for being employee of the month. I dont know what I am going to do with it. I am going to turn my bedroom into an office, and hang my employee of the month plaque up with all my diplomas. And when I say all my diplomas, I mean starting from my 6th grade diploma going up through my associate's degree. I am going to frame them all. Dr. Kristin is in the house.

I started buying Christmas presents today. Yeah, I know it is real early. But I am real broke, and if I dont start now, I will never ever be able to afford anything. So I got a good start. And I am even more broke. My feet are like ice cubes. I wish Carrie was here so that I could stick my feet in her pockets. When they leave me for the weekend, the house gets insanely cold. I might turn into an ice sculpture or something. You never know. My goal in life is to be very hyperspastic at 630 am when me and Carrie are working out. Every weekend Jenny says we are going to watch a movie and eat some popcorn. But nobody likes popcorn but me. And yet Jenny talks about it every weekend. I just dont understand. I live with a bunch of lunitics. I think they are corrupting my fragile little mind.

by khristin ann Wednesday, November 03, 2004 at 1:00 AM

like a rolling stone

"When you vote, you dont lick the curtain." Jenny just made me toast. Today my family went and voted together, to quote a girl I work with, "A family that votes together stays together." Then I went and saw Bob Dylan. And then I did homework. And now I am going to bed because Carrie and I are going to work out at 630 am.

Today I was walking home from the concert, and I was thinking about how cool it would be if I was Mario. You know how sometimes he jumps real far, and his legs are just kicking like you wouldnt believe. Wouldnt that be awesome if I could take a running start, and leap through the air, kicking my legs like crazy? It would be awesome. Although I would have to wear red bibs. And fling flaming balls of snot from my nose. But in the end, it would just rock.