I had nothing to offer anybody except my own confusion. ~Jack Kerouac

we are so very attractive....

Here are some useless pieces of information.....
1. Out of 6 plastic glasses, three are in my room. Two of the three have purple straws.
2. The cops in Oshvegas are useless, they provide no entertainment.
3. It is not easy to get AIDS by kissing someone. In order to recieve the HIV virus, you would have to swallow a gallon of the infected person's spit within a relitivily short period of time.
4. The longer your nails are, the harder it is to type.
5. If your stomach hurts, you probably should avoid bringing a peanut butter and chocolate chip sandwich to work. It only makes things worse.
6. If hair is just dead protein, how does it stay attached to our scalps?
7. Albert Pujols wears an XL in Nike.
8. Ever since I was little, I have worried about the house starting on fire. I know that if the house starts on fire, it is going to be the night that I am wearing really ugly pajamas. Then the neighbors would think I am wierd.
9. I really want to go outside and punch the neighbors in the face.
10. evil, EVIL toaster
11. The floor of our house is slanted, my dresser and my door frame lean.
12. It's 5 o'clock somewhere.
13. If you had Mr. C for kindergarten, you understand the excitement of a tornado tube.
14. Juliane knows where Bay Beach is.

I lie on my back at night
staring into the stars
as they are slowly fading away

There is a strange stillness,
an uncomfortable silence,
as I battle between being
awake and asleep
conscious and unconscious
restless and relaxed

Eventually the stars grow dull
as sleep creeps over my body.
I can no longer see those plastic shapes
as they are glowing from my ceiling

One saturday morning, George W Bush decided to go out for breakfast with that Vice President guy (I can't remember his name....). The VP orders first, then the waitress asked George Bush what he wanted. He studied the menu and replied with, "I think I will have a quickie." The waitress, completely offended, said "And I thought we finally had a president in office who had morals and family values, not another sex crazed maniac" as she stormed away. The vice president leaned over and said, "They pronounce that 'quiche'."

This is our secret room. You cannot get to this room from outside the house, but there is a window. It is complete with curtains. Wyatt pried the window off the room by standing on Chris and Pat's shoulders. The rest of us were to creeped out to look, so Jenny held the camera up and took some photos. This picture is as close as I have gotten to see the secret room.

The water heater guy is coming tomorrow. Carrie said he sounded hot on the phone, and she gave him my number. It comes with no surprise that Carrie and Jim attempt to set me up with every guy they know, whether or not they have talked to them within the last 5 years. Tonight Carrie serenaded me (and the whole neighborhood) with The Little Mermaid....."something something something FEET". I cut my hair tonight, mostly because I was bored. I guess Jerry came over to take away half of our trash in his pickup. What is left out there is mostly boxes and really heavy bags. Somehow a 10 speed bike that is missing a tire ended up on our lawn with the rest of our trash. How that happened we don't know. I guess my sister called me last night and carried on a conversation with me. I don't remember it at all, but I guess it was not as bad as the time I yelled "KENT" in the middle of the night (I still don't know anyone named Kent). All I wanted today was a candy bar.

guess who is not an actual person in this picture.....

Here is a brief update of my life - Today I went shopping (which is bad) but afterwards I handed ALL my credit cards over to Carrie (which is good), who had Jim hide them in her room. I feel a little bit safer about my finances. Jenny bought a present for Phil from Costa Rica. My stereo is STILL broken in my car, which means I am STILL listening to 40 oz to Freedom. Our basement is moldy, there is a secret room in our house (complete with curtains), our fridge leaks water, the built in clock is missing, and my bedroom could pass for a sauna. I am about this close (I am making the hand gestures right now) to losing my job at Dick's. It is a serious problem. Good thing I have another job, it is like my safety net incase Dick's terminates my employment (that sounds a little nicer than being fired, right?). I am not sure if I am ever going to get unpacked. Tomorrow is Sheila's bday and we are going out to celebrate. I am really excited. Carrie helped me clean out my dresser and closet, I feel like I got rid of more clothes than I kept. I am downsizing. Pretty soon I am going to become a nudist.