I had nothing to offer anybody except my own confusion. ~Jack Kerouac

Ive decided that politics have warped my fragile little mind. I dont care who wins, my life will be no better off. I am so sick of hearing, 'I am voting for this one, because I dont like the other guy'. Nobody seems to like anyone. Everyone is just 'picking the lesser of two evils'.

Sometimes, I start drinking a glass of water, and leave it on the coaster on my computer desk. The next day (or the day after, or the day after that....) I come back to this fine piece of machinery. Without thinking, I pick up my glass and take a drink. BAD IDEA. I have never drinken as much gross water than I have in the last week.

I didnt dress up for work today. When I walked in, everyone was like, 'Where's your dining room chair?' Because I am offically a model of dining room furniture. Then I became a dinosaur who thinks "MEOW".

Jim casually leaves random guy's numbers on my computer desk, like he's sneaky or something. Like I really am going to look at the number, and be like, "hmm.....I dont know who this is, but since I have the number, I am going to call...." And Wyatt leaves me a picture of Medusa. A very creepy Medusa.

Dont worry guys, we found the house we are going to live in next year. Its a whole house, and not only does it have closets, it has a basement. Carrie doesnt like it when you call her sappy cappy. I have some permanent red marks on my arm from my wrist brace. The other day, I was replacing our paper towel holder (which is 10 feet in the air and really hard to reach) when a can of canned corn jumped off the chair and landed right on my toe. That really hurt. I dont even like canned corn. I prefer my vegetables frozen. Unless its green beans, I like green beans any way I can get them. I love green beans. I got the most sleep last night that I have gotten in like the last two months. I definitely have over 40 hours in this week. Total cool, because I am BROKE. And we are putting down a security deposit on the house. When we move, I wont have a bed. Sad, I know. But I will have a closet. Right now I have nowhere to put my shoes so I lack the motivation to clean my room because everything thats on my floor really has no place to go. My car needs to get fixed, which is not cool because then I wont have any money to get Christmas presents. Not that I have the money to get Christmas presents, that is what my credit card is for. But not if I use it to get my car fixed. Well I could always just use my other credit card, but I dont want to end up with 2 credit cards that are completely maxed out. Plus one of my credit cards is solely to buy gas. we have candy in our kitchen for 'emergency snacks'. Supposidly, Carrie needs emergency snacks because she lives with us. I guess me and Jenny drive Carrie completley nuts.

Carrie wont hang out with me. Im bored. I could be doing my homework, but homework is for ninnies. I killed my wrist last night. I jumped onto the Hasselhoff, and it was like instant severe pain. And all day my hand has been going numb. But not like the normal numb feeling, more like when youve been sitting on your foot too long and it hurts so bad you cant move it but it is still numb. Just like that. But life will go on, right?

I totally parked my car IN THE BACKYARD when I got home. I prefer to park on the end (I dont know why, I just get so obsesive compulsive about where I park my car) and I thought Carrie was parked close enough to the porch that I could fit on the other side of her. But I couldnt. So, my car is just chilling in the backyard. I really dont like the fact that there is a giant hole in our driveway. One of these days I know I will blow out a tire or something. I also dont really like the fact that our landlord is creepy. But thats a whole nother story. (Is nother a word?) I talked to the landlord the other day. When both my roommates were out of town. My bed looks so nice and warm. But I have a test Friday and studying would be in my best interest. Life's tough when you lack motivation. I am so obsessive compulsive when it comes to playing solitare that I can only play an even number of games. Strange but true. Today I choked on a french fry. And then a couple minutes later, I did it again. I thought I was going to die, right there at work. But I survived.

This is why I want to drop out of school -- every class I want to take is from 940 - 1110 or 150 - 250. Right now I am registered for 3 classes. I want 2 more classes, and maybe an interim. And I need to be taking classes in the 300 and 400's, because I need the junior/senior level credits. But that is not going to happen. oh, and since I am currently paying back my loan, I have absolutely no money to pay for next semester. But with Christmas coming up, I am sure to get AT LEAST 40 hours a week. Which will be some extra money. I have 35 hours this week, but that is because now I have hours in apparel. Which I like working in a department better anyways. As one of my managers said today, "Its cleaning up after the pigs in the departments, but at least you dont always have to deal with them." True that.

On a complete side note, in German, park and ride is "Park-and-ride-Parkplatz". Instead of saying "vulgar language", they say "inflammatory sayings". And that is why Germans have no arms or legs.

I think one of the greatest inventions ever was the kleenex box. The really neat thing about it is how when you pull out one kleenex, the next one is there and ready for you to use. That is genius, pure genius.

Its Friday night, and whats Kristin doing? Blasting early 90's pop and playing solitare. Actually, I am waiting for Juliane to call me back. I drove (all the way...) to Appleton to harass my mom, but I couldn't find her. So, all sad and lonely, I came home.

Ive been meaning to get out my beads, but I just dont ever get around to it. Plus this place is such a mess I wouldnt have enough room. And my doctor said I am suposed to avoid moving. I am also suposed to avoid my computer. oops.

I honestly think that it is real important for people of our generation to vote. It doesnt matter who you vote for, just as long as you are making an informed decision. It is proven that the people who vote the most are senior citizens. And senior citizens dont care about the future. They care about now, because they are all going to die soon. I care about the future. I want my 12 kids to grow up in a country with good health care and education. I am not expecting any of my 12 illegitamite children to be healthy, because look at all my problems. But I want to know that they are going to get the care they need. Even if they get a parasite in their stomach from a water park (we watched Discovery channel last night. A baby projectile vomited all over). And Wisconsin is a state with high education expectations. Look at our state university system. When we were applying for colleges and the such in high school, we were told that because we came from a rigourus school system our C's would look like other school's B's. And so its really not my education that I am worried about, since I am almost done with college (scary, huh, me being out in the big world...) but it is the future. And so, the moral of the story is, look into the campaign and make a an educated choice, and go out and vote. An educated choice is not saying, "well, I am voting for him because he is pro-(choice/life). That is just voting on one teeny tiny unrelevant piece of information. And I dont like the fact that Bush brings religion into his campaign, saying he advises the country with his Christain beliefs. This is not a Christian country. This is a country based on freedom of choice. But ok, I am done.

When my roomates leave me for a weekend I have nothing better to do than sit on my computer and type up long, random, irrelevant blogs. sorry. oh, and I was right. It was paper recycling. HA.

I dont even ask Carrie what she is watching because I dont want to know. We are the creepy neighbors. Why? Me and Jenny just ran up and down the street looking in the neighbors garbage. I was wearing my bathrobe and party shoes. Jenny was wearing her Flashdance sweatshirt. We were a sight. I say its paper recycling and Jenny says bottles. All our neighbors seem to be confused. "It is squishy".

Jenny bought a Goosebumps movie at Walmart. High quality film. I might get eaten. I have to give a presentation tomarrow. Maybe I should be in bed.

I decided that Thursday is my favorite day of the week. Thursday is almost weekend. And any weekend days cannot be your favorite day of the WEEK. So that exempts Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. Which leaves Thursday as my favorite day. I also like Tuesdays, because by Tuesday you are already past Monday. So your week can only get better from there.

Today at work I got to complain about 2 of my managers to the store manager for like a half hour. That was the best half hour I have ever gotten paid for. It was so much better than ever peeing while on the clock. Cuz I got to yell. But actually I was yelling for everyone else, because everyone brings their problems to me. My manager says its because I am nice and everyone gets along with me and I AM ALWAYS THERE. She always checks gossip with me before she yells at someone to see if the gossip is true. Because I seem to hear all the gossip too. I am employee of the month. But seriously, I got to complain forever. Well Sunday was a bad day at work, and I made like half the people promise me not to yell at the managers or pick a fight. Because everyone was pissed off. And as pretend manager, I did not want to have a fight start while I was in charge up front.

I am wearing orange pants, to bring out the orange in my shirt. And my party shoes bring out the blue. That is why I go to the thrift store. Great party clothes. I get paid tomorrow (I had to respell that one Carrie). I cant do gay hand when I am wearing my wrist brace. I really cant type either. This is a challange. I dont know what I am going to say in my presentation tomorrow. I hope I dont look bad. I dont want the girl in my group to not like me. Shes the only person I ever talk to at school besides my roomates. And Juliane and Derek. Wait, the other day I saw one of Julianes friends. And a guy I work with. So scratch that. I emailed my German professor, a class I am doing rather horrible in, and looked like an idiot. I guess she went over new grammer terms on the overhead. I dont think she understands I have a very short attention span and a 3 second memory. My underwear have stars on them.

Wyatt overheard our downstairs neighbor saying, "I HATE UNDERWEAR." I will leave you with that thought.

"Do kangaroos have boxes?"
"DO NOT LICK My PRE-CAMBRIAN ROCK!!"
"Someone taking a razorblade and cutting open my armpits."

Lately I hate everyone I don't know. For example, all customers at work. I think the reason why I am so irritable is because I am sick (big shocker there) and I am sick of my job. Like it wasn't so bad today until like 3pm when all the managers were mad at me (because I didn't have a set of keys today, so everytime I needed keys I needed a manager) and its not my fault. But I am just so sick of people who do the most asinine things. And its really not their fault for being retarded, right?

I was driving home from work today, and I used my super cool nasal spray. Then I was yelling at the car in front of me and I started choking (not as bad as yesterday when I was making sound effects on the couch) and then because of the nasal spray I got the grossest taste in my mouth and I thought I was going to vomit. And that wouldn't have been good because then I would have to do my laundry to clean my work clothes. I decided that I don't ever do my laundry, or clean my room, or sleep, because I don't really have the time. The fact that I am lazy has nothing to do with it. I was watching the soap opera channel before and I was freezing cold and I was afraid that by the time Carrie got home from work I would have turned into an ice cube and she could have carved me into an ice sculpture of a swan. I got a postcard from Katie P today and that was real cool since I havent talked to her in forever since she is in England and I am just here in Amurica.

Ever since Jenny found that porn blog, I have tried to out do her, and I cant find a random blog better than that. Theres my life story. I have to give a presentation on Friday and I get to wear my $12 dress pants. I am so mad at the letter A thanks to the Salvation Army.

I have decided that officially the left side of my body hates me. Why? Well, my left ear is the ear that didnt have an ear canal. The lump in my neck is on the left side. My skin graft was taken on the left side, and my biopsy was done on my stomach on the left side. My left middle finger is where the butter knife attacked me and I got stiches. And the stiches on my forehead are canceled out since they are right in the middle of my head. My big toe on the left side I internally bruised it a couple years ago, and when it gets cold my toe cracks like crazy. And now, I pinched the nerve in my left wrist. So, I am thinking that if I just amputate the left side of my body, things will be ok.

I got a new phone and my life seems so much more complete now that I have a cell phone that actually works and stuff. So cool. Jenny made me another powerpoint and it is just hilarious. I lost my toothbrush this weekend, so I just went to Target and bought 4, just incase of another emergancy. I am not wearing any socks. We are going to go find a new house tonight and it has to be real cool cuz this place is the opposite of real cool. Right now, all I want out of life is a closet. Carrie is watching Rescue 911 and I think I am going to go join her because my feet are cold so I am going to put them in her pockets.

Heres an update on my medical history. I went to the doctor yesterday, and found out that I pinched a nerve in my wrist. I got the pleasure of being hit with a rubber mallet by my new doctor. Actually, I learned that the bone in your wrist is the called the carpal tunnel (hence the name carpal tunnel syndrome), and there is a nerve that goes thru the bone. The nerve is protected by joint tissue (I have no joint tissue, which means my nerve really just chills in there all alone, and thats not good). And so, my hand randomly goes numb. And gets colder than the other hand. That was my day at the doctor.

Carrie has come to the decision that the gray spot in my carpet is ghost blood. I did everything you could possibly do in a day. I got up at 630, did my homework, went to see my advisor, went to classes, went to the salvation army (and I met the strangest lady in the whole world), then to look at apartments, then to kimberly to go to my doctor's, then to my mom and dads, then I got my hair cut, then to work. Then I came home and cleaned my room since he is showing our apartment tomarrow and my room is a disaster area. and a half. And now I am going to bed. Thats my day summed up real quick. When I was getting my hair cut, I explained to the lady that I am the last person who cut my hair, thats why it was rather crooked. Then she was like, so, um, this side is shorter than the other side. And I was like, yeah, I know, I didnt want to ruin it by trimming more so I just left it. And she was like, oh, so you dont want one side shorter than the other? and I was like, no, my bad. I am going to probably get a new phone tomarrow, because mine totally doesnt work. But the problem is I dont really have any money. They did invent credit cards for a reason, I guess. My sister said she would pay me back some of the money she owes me so I can get a phone, but you know how that goes. For some reason, when people tell me they are going to pay me back, it never really happens. I have a felt diaper on my computer desk. My throat hurts which means my ears itch from the insides. Carrie says you can get yeast infections in your ears. And, as strange as that is, I have to believe Carrie because she knows way too much about yeast infections.

I had the strangest dream last night. I had transfered colleges (I am trying to be carrie you know), and I was wandering around my new campus when I got lost outside and ended up sitting on a couch (outside in a park) in between a little girl and an old lady. I watched the little girl, she killed this man that was laying on the ground, and started eating from his stomach. After she finished eating the man's guts, she pulled out one of those 80's gigantic cell phones and called 911. She said, "I think I have a problem." and they said, "Are you hurt?" "No" "Then what is your problem?" And she was like, "Well there was this man running through the park and he stopped so I killed him and ate his body." And the 911 lady was like, "Oh, that is a problem. Did you cook him or eat him raw?" (I dont know why they would ask that over the phone, but she totally did). And the little girl was like, "Well, it wasnt raw. He cooked himself inside his stomach. He warmed it all up inside his stomach for me, so he wasnt raw..." and she just kept saying that. Then she got off the phone, and the old lady that was sitting on the couch started pushing me towards the little girl, and she was like, "heres another one for you" and so the little girl was trying to grab me and eat me. And that was that.

I am watching days on the soap opera channel. its great. Real great. I am the only one here, but I am screaming at the tv everytime something happens. I dont like Mimi's shirt. Last night I got a powerpoint presentation from Jenny. There is something about men in hammocks.... I am pinning diapers right now, then we are leaving for good old p-ville. We are gonna see the M on fire. Nothing better than a flaming M.

This new guy started at dicks. I dont like him. Why? because he is one of those people who talk about how 'I got new tires and rims and I spent $700 and im buying a gun next week for $400 and I got these boots for $300...." and its like, thats great. I dont care. thanks for telling me. But really, it just irks me how people throw around money like that, because you know they only do it to brag about it to other people, like their coworkers. I also dont like him because he owns 15 guns. and hes 20. I just dont get what he needs that many guns for. seriously. He owns 2 or 3 handguns, just because. JUST BECAUSE. I just dont get. and I told him I dont get what he really needs that many guns for, and so he started describing the differences in them. and all I can think is, a gun is a gun. You really dont even need one. What are you doing with 15? He told me that his last girlfriend broke up with him because he likes his toys more than he likes her, and he was like, 'yeah, and I know its true.' He also owns a 2004 truck and a $16,000 boat. Some people I just wont ever understand. and, frankly, I dont want to.

Heres my life story. Our heat is not working, and I am freezing. To quote Karma, "you can call me ice cube." I have no patience to do my homework although I probably should be. I just applied to Miles Kimball. Who even knows what they do there? I sure dont. I need to become a single mother or gay or have an amputated limb because I need some money from the government. I have no money, but everywhere seems to be taking more away. I wish I wouldnt have gotten my degree from the center. And i cant fill out a FAFSA anymore this year, but not that it would help me at all. If my dad retired it would. But I still think loosing a limb is more likely. If I had a choice, I would loose my right arm because then I could start life over as a left handed person. What if I just cut off a toe? Is that enough of a body part missing that the government will help fund my college education? Well if anyone is willing, I gladly accept cash, money orders, all major credit cards, or personal checks.

"When Ben Franklin was inventing the light bulb, it took about 2000 tries to get it right. A reporter asked him, 'Did you feel discouraged after getting it wrong 2000 times?' Ben Franklin replied, 'Hell, I invented 2000 things that dont work.'"

Its Friday night and I just finished my laundry and cleaning my room. I know, I'm real cool. I cant help it, honestly. I want to take a nap but I just made my bed. I finally found the Phish cd that I burned like 2 months ago. I should clean more often but sometimes I just have better things to do. Like watch Law and Order. When I am an old lady I am going to wear a hat when I go out, and when it is raining I will put one of those plastic rain bonnets on.