I had nothing to offer anybody except my own confusion. ~Jack Kerouac

I feel like I am about to spew my guts everywhere. I got the coolest present from Jenny this weekend - a Spirograph. It's total sweet. If I didn't have 25 1/2 million things to be doing, I would be playing with it right now. But like 2 hours ago I realized I have a paper due tomorrow and a math test on Thursday. And I feel like I am dying (I know I am being a little melodramatic, but I really feel close to death right now). I left work yesterday after being there for not even an hour. I never leave work or call in.

How do trains run in the winter? What happens when there is ice and snow on the train tracks? That can't be safe. How do they clean them off? I have been thinking about this for the last couple days and I cannot figure it out. Because they have to do something to the tracks to keep them safe in the winter.

My fish tank has a personality of its own. It keeps shooting out bubbles at my fish. You know you are getting old when your favorite show is on Nick at Night. I got an A on my deviance exam. I went to my neurologist today. I'm on steriods. It kinda makes me wonder, how legal it is when you are prescribed a drug that starts with the prefix "Meth-". Don't mess with meth, Seth, don't mess with meth, Gwyenth....But I was told not to expect to sleep much the first couple days. So I am going to read a book. I haven't decided which one yet.

This week me and Jenny found the one thing you CANNOT find on ebay - a lifesize cardboard cutout of Christopher Columbus. You would think that somebody somewhere would be willing to sell theirs. Nope.

I got paid today, which brings my checking account to -$60. It's really sad. And I am going shopping tomorrow. But, I am going to get something to wear to my interview. And I need some vitamins. Ive stopped taking my iron, and I am getting yellower. I intend to take it, but then at the end of the day I forget. There were so many things I was going to do today, and then never did. Like shower. And workout. I don't know if I am just getting lazier, or if it is because all I ever feel like doing is throwing up.

I do work out videos just for the motivational things they say. You think I would be good at yoga, being all double jointed. But really, I'm not, because I lack the skill of balance. I fell over twice, and I decided I had had enough. So I am going to bed, because I have 2 tests tomorrow.

My snail is in a coma. I am a little worried, I really think he might be dead. Is there a such thing as chocolate chip cake? Can you do that? I was going to bake a cake tonight and I forgot and now it is too late. You know you are getting old when 1130 is too late to bake a cake. Is it ever too late for cake? It's too late to do Richard Simmons because Carrie is sleeping. I am wearing two different tye died shirts right now. It's tye die overload.

Today when I was walking home from the library I realized that I'm really glad I changed my major. Sociology has too much math and too many facts. I don't do good memorizing facts, I am more of an abstract thinker. I have to apply myself too much to handle math and science. I think school will start being a little easier, or at least less confusing, next semester. Maybe.

I just threw up. What a perfect way to end my uneventful day. I was at the library when it happened, and then I just walked home. I think it was because I ate yogurt. I am on a dairy strike now. The problem is, I still feel a little bit like I might vomit again. Not pleasent. I was just talking on the phone to my mom, and she completley summed up my day tomorrow. She said, "Well, I'll let you go so you can finish studying tonight, so you can go to bed, so you can get up and go to physical therapy tomorrow, and go to class tomorrow, and then go to work." And all I could say was, "ok". I mean, what do you say to that? "Thanks Mom, for telling me exactly what I told you I was going to do tonight and tomorrow"?

Today, my professor said, "C doesn't stand for crotch, so don't be afraid to use it." He was explaing column C in our textbook, and how it isn't neccessary to use the column, but it was helpful if we did. I honestly just sat there and stared at him out of confusion. It was such a random comment.

I just took a shower, and I was putting on makeup, when my hand spasmed and I jabbed myself in the eye with my mascara. I opened a new credit card today, and they thought it would be a good idea to give me a $1500 limit. Do you know what that means? I can go shopping. I changed my major yesterday. You would think something so life changing would take awhile, but it only took 3 1/2 minutes.

I just pulled a Jim. There was a toothpaste box in the garbage, and I picked it up and put it in the recycling. I went to both Target and Shopko today, and all I wanted was a diet sprite (aka fizzy water) and neither of the stores had it. Ok, well I did go to both stores for more important things, and I had to settle for a bottle of water. I am going to drop my math class. I practically failed my first test (because 61% isn't failing, just close). Plus, since I am getting a BA, I am done with the whole math thing. FOREVER. Jenny bought me a giant candy bar, because it's my favorite. But I can only eat it when I am in a candy bar mood, which is usually during Days. John Black is this big drug addicted weirdo now. It's mildly amusing.

Whatever happened to Hanson? I know Juliane's lover married the girl he knocked up, but other than that, what are they doing now?

Why is it that I get no hours at work, but as soon as I get the flu, everybody wants to give me their hours? I've gotten more phone calls from people from work in the last 2 days, then I have in the last 2 weeks.

I GOT A JOB INTERVIEW!!! I'm really excited about it. I felt the need to tell her that I had the flu, to explain why I sounded like I was dying on the phone. But it would be so cool.

I thought it would be a good idea to eat. BAD IDEA. My stomach hurts worse now after my chicken noodle soup and crackers. I can't do anything besides watch tv, because if I sit up too long I feel like I am going to die. I've been trying to read my book, but if I read for too long then I get dizzy. I feel like somebody took a giant sledgehammer and attacked my joints with it. But thats all. If you need me, I'll be on the couch.

Ive been watching too much tv lately. I think my brain is rotting. My math textbook is all words. It's like reading a novel. Except it's really not that exciting. Really really not exciting. One of the books that I am reading for my Women and Madness class is actually pretty interesting. My arm is one giant rash today, it started this morning and it is only getting worse. I think I have the black lung.

I am waiting for Jenny to come home from work, cuz we are going to Walmart. She needs contact solution, and I NEED ice cream. I am listening to Sophie B Hawkins. I am going to take my little brother to Platteville. For a weekend of FUN. He better be ready. I am trying so hard to read my math book, but it is more like torture than actual reading. Me and Carrie just got done doing Richard Simmons. Actually, more like I just got done doing Richard, and Carrie just watched. Ok, thats dirty. I am seriously one giant rash. It started today on my hands in math, and I thought it was just a rash stemming from my immense boredom. But now it is all over my arm. And creeping to my other arm. Where is Jenny? I just want my ice cream.

I really don't work again till Friday. There is a lot that I need to get done though. I gotta drop off my application at school. And I gotta apply to the bank. Tomorrow, post class, I am doing THE most exciting thing - LAUNDRY!! So, around 330ish, you can find me at the slosh n wash, reading my math book.

Today I decided that since I don't work, ever, that from now on I am going to have to put everything on my credit cards. And I have no money to pay them back. How long before I take out another loan?

I went to Kinko's today, which is now Fed Ex, and I am totally disapointed. I tried to print up my sister's cat picture for her, and the quality came out horrible. And I couldn't align it in anyway that it wasn't chopping part of the picture out. Total suck. What is a girl to do? I mopped the floor today, and I really don't like the way the floor cleaner smells. It has this essence of vomit. It's like baby puke mixed with lemons. No likey. You won't see me breathing around this house again. My goal in life is to be on a TLC show. Preferably 'While You Were Out', but I would even take 'What not to Wear' or 'Trading Spaces" or 'Clean Sweep', basically any show that I have spent the last two weeks watching. Oh, and I have to admit, I have fallen in love with the fab 5. I love "Queer Eye" now. It is absolutely hilarious. I want a bunch of gay men running around my house.

Well, I better conclude this super long blog. I am going to wait for my princess to come, and take me away to Walmart. Until then, I am going to be entertained by a math book. Aye carumba, me bladdero explodeo. Hasta luego.

Here's a quick update on my life--

I am changing my major, my $2 jacket makes my back itch when I am driving, kool-aid doesn't taste the same when you only make half a pitcher, and my little toe got in a fight with the toe next to it, which leaves me with a bloody toe.

Thats all.

PS- The girl at walmart accidentally scanned my chapstick twice, instead of scanning my chapstick and my toothbrush.

Nova Tuesday, the cat that is no longer a kitten....

Today Jenny pointed out that I own a lot of fake flowers. This is the newest addition to my fake flower family.

I was just playing around with the program I downloaded. It's really exciting. I really should be up at school learning SPSS, but instead I am playing.

It really amazes me, the things people will buy on ebay. I couldn't remember when I had class today, and I was 10 minutes late because I slept too long. My math professor (who is also head of the sociology department....its soc stats aka not real math) is very animated. He is real funny. Today, in a little kid voice, he said, "I'm one year, four months, and 17 days old....AND I CAN TALK." It was hilarious. He wears sweaters like Phil. I just got done baking cookies. The Paula Abdul work out video came in the mail today. I'm real excited. I learned this weekend that snails are asexual; they can reproduce with themselves if they really want to. I think that some day I am going to get another snail. So they can make snail babies. What would be cooler than snail babies?